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Dear Aphrodite,
Why do people use vibrators? There are so many options ... how can I choose one that will work for me? Also, I've heard that it's possible to get addicted to a vibrator. Is that true?
 Vibrators can be used for all sorts of things: to enhance your pleasure during solo or partner play, to arouse you as a warm-up to your usual intimacies, to help you achieve orgasm or have multiple orgasms, and even to provide a great back massage. With a vibrator, you can be pleasured for as long as you wish, with you in control.
You may want to use a vibrator:
- If you want to explore another way to become sexually aroused.
- If you want assistance to achieve an orgasm or want to experience more than one orgasm.
- If your partner is tired, ill, not interested in sex when you are, or finished with sex before you are.
- If you want stimulation in addition to intercourse (using a vibrator on your clitoris and vulva can help bring you to orgasm during penetrative sex).
Also, many women find that they experience stronger, more satisfying orgasms with a vibrator's consistent stimulation. And if you need more incentive, consider that regular orgasms are good for your health! They have been proven to boost your immune system and keep your pelvic floor muscles strong and toned (for more information on the benefits of strong pelvic floor muscles, see our Kegels articles).
How to choose a vibrator
The more you’re aware of your preferences, the easier your choice will be. To pick the vibrator that's right for you, ask yourself the following questions.
- Are you thinking about using it externally, internally, or both?
For women, arousal that can lead to orgasm occurs when the clitoris, lips of the vulva, and first 1-3 inches of the vagina (closest to the outside of your body) are stimulated. So, if you’re looking to increase your ability to have an orgasm, strongly consider a vibrator that will deliver at least moderate vibrations to the clitoris and vulva. If you enjoy vaginal penetration, you may want to consider a shaft-shaped vibrator that can also be used internally.
- What kind of clitoral and labial stimulation do you like?
Another way to ask this question is: How much hand or tongue stimulation do you find enjoyable?
If you aren't sure about the answer, consider experimenting with a vibrator that can be set to different intensities. We especially encourage first-time users to choose a vibrator with a range from mild to strong. It's much easier to make a vibrator less intense (by vibrating over your hand or clothing) than it is to make a mild vibrator stronger, so if you're not sure, get one that's a bit stronger than you think you might need.
- Should it be very quiet?
Vibrators produce a wide range of sounds. Apartment dwellers, people with children, and others may care about the level of noise. Our descriptions tell you if they’re quiet, moderately noisy, or pretty darn loud. Or come on in to one of our stores to hear for yourself!
- How mobile do you want to be?
Vibrators that plug into the wall tend to be made better, last longer, and vibrate more intensely (but tend to be noisier). They also make good multi-purpose toys for when a back rub is your pleasure of choice. Battery-operated and rechargeable vibrators, on the other hand, can be used almost anywhere — you don’t need to be near an outlet.
- Will you be introducing it to a partner?
If so, you may want to take into account your partner's comfort level and preferences for size, shape, color, etc. Multi-purpose massagers don’t look quite as much like a sex toy, so a shy partner may be more comfortable with one of them.
P.S. About that addiction myth:
Not true! A vibrator may help you to have an orgasm more quickly than with manual stimulation, but it will not desensitize you to stimulation that typically leads you to orgasm. Some people may become accustomed to reaching orgasm more quickly with a vibrator. Addiction, however, is not possible.
In fact, a recent study showed that regular vibration actually increases the number of nerve endings in the clitoris - so regular vibrator use can lead to even more, better orgasms in the future.
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