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Dear Aphrodite,
My female partner is really turned on by clitoral stimulation (with a vibrator or by any other means) and has fantastic orgasms. I have wanted to explore the possibility of a G-spot orgasm and have talked with her about it. She says that she enjoys the clitoral stimulation so much, and that she has never found her G-spot. What should I do?
 While some women absolutely love G-spot stimulation during sex, other women find that their G-spots aren't very sensitive at all, or that they really dislike having their G-spot stimulated. So your partner may be one of those women whose G-spot is not all that pleasurable for her.
If she is willing, offer to do some exploring, to see if her G-spot or her T-Zone (more on that in a moment) give her any kind of pleasure when stimulated.
First, let's find the G-spot. After a good bit of foreplay that includes lots of vulva massage and stimulation, have her lie back with a pillow behind her head and upper back, while you sit between her spread legs with her legs comfortably arranged. Put a good amount of a sexual lubricant on two fingers and slide them about 1-2 inches into her vagina, with your fingers facing up toward her belly button.
Then, move your fingers in a "come hither" motion toward her pubic bone. Try moving them together as a unit first, and notice that you feel some ridged and swollen tissue. This is the G-spot, also know as the paraurethral ducts (tissue that surrounds the urethra). Try stroking with your fingers together, and then separate them and stroke with them about an inch apart. Ask your partner how it feels; if it feels good, keep going. If it feels neutral, try different strokes (circles, tapping, rubbing from side to side) and see if that's pleasurable. If it feels bad, try a different kind of stroke (in circles, or tapping) and see if that's better. If it still feels bad or neutral, stop, or move further inside the vagina, past the ridged tissue to a very smooth part of the vaginal wall.
This smooth part is what we call the T-Zone, also known as the Trigone in anatomy lingo (and the AFE Zone in some other texts). Try stroking this area, or pressing and releasing, or tapping it with your fingers. If it feels good, keep going. You may need to move your fingers further as she becomes more aroused, since her vagina will change shape as her arousal increases. The T-Zone is the area that we have heard is the most intensely pleasurable for many women. Often fingers are not long enough to reach it, or you find that the pressure that feels best is so much that fingers get tired. That's when you bring out a firm vibrator or dildo and see how that feels.
A lot of women can have very strong orgasms from stimulation of the T-Zone, if you can stick with it and your hand doesn't get too tired. Try one of the Ms. Curve vibrators, or the Catherine dildo/dilator. These are long and firm, and won't tire out before she explodes. Add clitoral stimulation at the same time, and see how it feels. She may just climb the wall with pleasure.
Remember, though, if it's not her cupp o' tea, then don't fret. Not everyone likes this kind of stimulation, and if she's one who just doesn't get into it, find other ways to bring out the wild woman in her.
Aphrodite
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