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Dear Dr. Myrtle,
Could you give me some information on female ejaculation? My girlfriend and I are kind of curious.
 All women have tissue known as "paraurethral" tissue, which, had we been born men, would have developed into prostate tissue. "Para" refers to tissue surrounding the "urethra" - the tube which allows urine to pass from the bladder to the outside of the body. Paraurethral tissue is filled with nerve endings, blood vessels, and paraurethral glands which can secrete fluid. Although it cannot be touched directly, paraurethral tissue (otherwise known as the "G-Spot") can be felt and massaged through the vaginal wall. (If she is lying on her back, and gives you permission, you could feel the paraurethral tissue/G-Spot if you turned your palm up, and stroked the "upper" side of her vaginal opening - usually about an inch or two into the vaginal canal.)
When a woman is sexually aroused, her paraurethral ducts fill with fluid, and if this fluid is expressed, this is referred to as ejaculation. For most women, their vulvar area will become much wetter. If a stream of fluid is expelled, it's more likely to be urine, because the paraurethral glands simply cannot hold or produce that much fluid. Ejaculation does not necessarily happen with orgasm (although it can). Sometimes, ejaculation will occur during arousal, with orgasm following sometime later (or not).
For women, sexual arousal is helped by erotic massage of the vulva, the vaginal lips (where the long "legs" of the clitoris are, underneath the skin), the tip of the clitoris, and the outer 1/3 of the vagina. Deep penetration can also be arousing for some, but not all, women.
Some specific G-Spot massage suggestions are to:
- Take your time. This is not a contest.
- Empty your bladder.
- Talk to each other. "Do you like it like this?" is probably one of the most erotic things to say to someone, because it communicates that you want to do what she wants you do do.
- Remember to use a non-sticky water-based lube. Slickness is arousing to many women, and allows you to comfortably massage without friction of the labia. We don't recommend using any oil-based lubricant on women's genitals.
- (If your partner is lying on her back when she's aroused), try massaging the "roof" of her vagina just past her pubic bone. A G-Spot feels like the surface of a peach or apricot pit, but much softer in texture. Usually, the more aroused a woman becomes, the more prominent the ridges will become.
- Try different paths of your stroking. Some women like a side-to-side motion, while others like in-and-out stroking.
- Explore the amount of pressure that your partner likes. This pressure may be very different from what you might like, and may change as she becomes more aroused. Even the position of her G-Spot may change, because the pelvic structures often move "up and away" with increasing engorgement.
- Begin a slow, lingering exploration of her vulva and the first 1/3 of her vagina.
- Be gentle with this tissue. Some women do not like G-Spot massage, or cannot take the pressure for any length of time. Other women, who might be susceptible to urinary bladder infections, might be more comfortable avoiding G-Spot massage all together. Often, we read about how "every woman LOVES G-Spot stimulation" and how "the G-Spot is a magical spot that will lead to orgasm in every woman". This is not true. Some women really don't like G-Spot stimulation, some find it a "not great, not bad" type of stimulation, and some women love it.
- Not every woman ejaculates copious amounts of fluid from G-Spot massage. In fact, most women don't. Some women ejaculate noticeable amounts of fluid; some don't.
Remember that what you might like and what she likes are very likely not the same. For example, you may ejaculate with finger massage only, while she may with more (or less) intense stimulation. Or perhaps neither of you ejaculates at all. Any and all body responses in this situation are normal.
If you would like more information, see our "Toys and Female Ejaculation" article (linked in the right sidebar on this page) or look into The New Good Vibrations Guide To Sex book, G Marks the Spot instructional movies.
Dr. Myrtle
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