Congratulations on buying your first vibrator! Although you've taken the most important step (mustering up the courage to buy one), vibrators can at first be pretty overwhelming. Here are some suggestions to help you become better acquainted with your new friend.
Try some lubricant
We recommend that you use some lubricant on any vibrator that doesn't have a smooth, hard shell, and on any vibrator when it's used internally. We like Liquid Silk because it's extra-slippery and won't get sticky, but any water-based lubricant (Astroglide, Maximus, etc.) will work. Silicone lubricant will work too, as long as your vibrator isn't made of silicone, Cyberskin, or rubber. Lubricant will keep things slippery, so you can move the vibrator around easily on sensitive areas without worrying about friction or abrasion, and can instead enjoy the sensation of rhythmic touch. See our How to Choose a Lubricant article for more information on picking a lube that's right for you.
Try vibrating on different parts of your body
Try using your vibrator on your nipples, on the insides of your thighs, and anywhere else that might feel good, in addition to your genitals. Orgasms are better and stronger when you involve more of your body along the way to your "big O."
Build up your arousal
Begin by using your vibrator on its lowest setting, and use it on the labia, not directly on the clitoris. If your vibrator doesn't have different speeds, use its side, rather than its more-intense tip, on your labia first. Insertable vibrators can also be used on the labia and along the head of the clitoris rather than directly on the clitoris — you don't want to make your clitoris numb, you want to warm it up and help it become erect and aroused.
You can get closer to the clitoris as you get more aroused. Many women find that they never vibrate directly on the tip of the clitoris, but find a spot to one side or the other when they are aroused and ready to have an orgasm (or several!).
Try using it internally, too
Once you are aroused, you can play with using insertable vibrators inside the vagina – use lubricant unless you are lubricating a lot yourself. But remember, most women don't have orgasms from vaginal stimulation alone. You can insert your vibrator and stimulate your clitoris with your hand if you like, or if you have a waterproof vibrator, you can insert it and then use water on your clitoris if that is something you enjoy.
Once it's comfortably inserted, try tilting your vibrator to different angles to see if you find any especially sensitive spots inside (for more information about sensitive spots in the vagina, see up our G-Spot and T-Zone article).
If you choose to use a vibrator in your anus, make sure that it has a flared base – you don't want the vibrator to slip up inside of you and get stuck (which can happen quite easily). That becomes a serious medical emergency. Also, be sure to thoroughly wash any vibrator that is used in the anus before using it in the vagina, since naturally occurring bacteria in the anus can cause infections if they enter the vagina. Another option is to cover your vibrator with an unlubricated condom (make sure to add your own water-based lube) that gets changed or removed before moving the vibrator from the anus to the vagina.
Experiment with different intensities
Play with different levels of vibration, from mild to strong, to see what you like. Some people like to start with mild vibrations and increase the intensity as they get closer to orgasm; some people like to change the intensity up and down many times. Everyone's preferences are different! Building up intensity, then tapering off as arousal increases is a great way to move your arousal level up and down, lengthening your self-pleasuring, before allowing yourself to have an orgasm. Remember, the longer you enjoy arousal the more intense your orgasm may be. Rushing to orgasm can be great for stress relief or to help you sleep, but extended, luxurious, teasing self-pleasuring sessions are important, too.
Entertain the possibility of multiple orgasms, if you choose
A vibrator is a good tool for experimenting with multiple orgasms. If you find that your clitoris becomes more sensitive after an orgasm, give your clit a bit of a rest, either by stopping the vibration altogether or moving it to a different spot, then start the arousal process again and see how it goes. Maybe you can come over and over again! If your clit doesn't become ultrasensitive right away, use your vibrator to keep your arousal level high, and see if you can peak repeatedly. If you can't, no big deal -- one orgasm can be plenty for many women.
Last but not least,
Relax and have a good time!
Have fun. This is about your pleasure -- there are no right or wrong ways to use a vibrator.
Will I become addicted and be unable to orgasm without my vibrator?!?
Nope. A vibrator may help you to have an orgasm more quickly than with manual stimulation, but it will not desensitize you to stimulation that typically leads you to orgasm. Many people grow accustomed to the speed at which they reach orgasm when using a vibrator and grow frustrated when other forms of stimulation (oral or manual) don't achieve the same results. This doesn't mean a person is addicted to a vibrator; just that they're used to its efficiency. Spending lots of time with other forms of stimulation will likely achieve the same results.
In fact, a recent study reported that vibration can actually increase the number of clitoral nerve endings. That means that more orgasms with your vibrator may actually lead to more orgasms, more easily, through all kinds of stimulation.
