Condoms & Lube

Download PDF Brochure Version Dear Dr. Myrtle, I want to protect myself, but it seems weird or... geeky to whip out some latex. How can I make using condoms more fun? Condoms: your path to sexual freedom Condoms and other barriers allow people to more safely explore their sexuality. If you've already decided to be sexual with someone else, then choosing the right barriers for your sexual play makes sense. Barriers don't make you have sex -- your choices do that. Barriers simply help you to protect your health if you pursue touching other people. Worrying about whether you should have used a barrier can ruin an otherwise excellent sexual experience. Increase your sexual pleasure by protecting yourself from the beginning. Quick Answers for Quick Questions Barriers PREVENT infections. Common infections include curable ones like Chlamydia (clah-MID-de-yah) and Gonorrhea (gone-oh-REE-yah). Consistently and correctly used barriers reduce transmission of these infections. Barriers allow you to feel everything, but prevent direct skin-to-skin contact with secretions that harbor infectious agents. Practice Makes Perfect. Studies show that people who regularly use (and have easy access to) barriers have the lowest infection transmission rates (using either female or male condoms). Know How to Use Condoms YOURSELF. People are more likely to experience condom breakage when they don't know their partner very well. Know how to use condoms yourself, so you won't have to rely on someone else to keep you safe. FEMALE condoms are less likely to break than MALE condoms (0.1% vs 3.1%). In rating comfort, FEMALE condoms are preferred when women test both types and use them consistently. Male Polyurethane (Avanti) condoms can break more frequently (2.6%-5%) than male Latex condoms (3%), although it's a very small difference. It is true that Avanti condoms DO slip off of a penis more easily, and should be held in place with a stretchy cock ring for more security. Women (and men) who are skilled & prepared (have condoms & lube with them), have much more successful experiences with barriers. Finally, being a good Girl/Boy Scout pays off! But You Think You Can't Use Condoms Because... Sex is socially embarrassing Sex doesn't "just happen". Pretending that you aren't preparing for being sexual doesn't mean that you aren't preparing to be sexual. Don't you fill up a car with gas before you drive it? Don't you get wet in a shower before you dry yourself off? If a sexual partner asks why you're getting your barriers & lube out, just tell them that you're still working on one of your scout badges. They'll be even more impressed. Using barriers means I'm "too sexual" aka: it's better to pretend ignorance and not have barriers than to appear as the sex god(dess) you are... Be the God(dess) Within. Be proud of yourself for caring for your body. No one can do it as well as you can. As much as other people seem interested in your body, sexuality, and life, no one cares as much about your body as you do. It's YOURS. You will live with it for the rest of your life. Choices that you make for yourself will matter the most to YOU. Studies show that women who know how to use barriers correctly and provide their own supply are more likely to have successful use. I'm unfamiliar with barrier products Learning more about barriers (like you are now) helps reduce that weird feeling that you're doing something odd. How can you feel like a pro when you've never seen a barrier? It's not going to work by itself, just like a cell phone can't dial itself. Study up, and become an expert at using barriers and an expert on which barriers YOU like to use. Practice buying barriers & lube. Practice taking them out of their packages. Practice storing them someplace(s) convient to your potential sexual hot-spots. Smell them. Taste them. Put them on yourself and wear them around. Put lube on them and see how well the heat and touch of your fingers comes through. Masturbate with them. Make them a part of your everyday life! Blow them up to decorate your next party. Make water balloons out of them. Give lube samples away as party favors! (Your friends will ask you a lot of questions about sex after *that* party.) Most importantly, just begin. I can't afford barriers (prefer Russian Roulette) Honey, it is WAY more expensive to treat infections, infertility or roughed-up skin than it is just to prevent it before it happens. At over $70 just to run ONE test for an infection (and that's just the test itself, not the collection, treatment, etc.), barriers are quite a deal. For $70, you could buy condoms and lube for 70 sessions of raucous, rowdy sex! If you threw in the exam to get the sample ($40) plus the medication to treat your Chlamydia infection ($50), you just "spent" 160 sessions of sex, or sex every other day for a year! My suggestion is to protect yourself, and have sex every other day of the year if you want. If you don't have sex *quite* that frequently, you'll have extra spending money for those flavored condoms you've been looking at! My partner won't have sex with me if I insist on using barriers Then why are you having sex with them? Have sex with yourself instead. If your male partner won't wear one -- BEWARE the AWKWARD CONDOM USER. People who don't regularly use condoms are MOST likely to break them, which won't do either of you any good. Reconsider your plans, or... YOU wear one! FEMALE Condoms are fantastic little reverse sacs that fit inside a vagina or rectum and are super comfy to wear. Female condoms don't move during sex, so the rubbing happens on the surface of the condom instead of on the skin. Female Condoms are a little bit on the noisy side, so turn up the music, or slap your partner's fanny a couple of times (with their consent) to help them vocalize.... Or, if MALE condoms are your barrier of choice: practice, practice, practice -- putting them on, at least. Which condom does he like masturbating in the most? Since practice makes perfect, provide him with lots of different types, a sample selection of lubes, maybe a vibrator, and then sit back and watch. Yes, watch. There is nothing more erotic than watching someone else masturbate. Applause is optional, but keep your hands to yourself! Which color does he prefer? A Glow-in-the-Dark Hide-&-Seek game might be in order. You won't be able to find and ambush him if he isn't wearing the condom in the right place at the right time. (Lights OUT!) Hints & Tips for Fun Barrier Play Don't keep condoms with sharp items! Sounds funny right until your nail clippers give you Chlamydia! Store your condoms in a cool place (out of the sun or light) in a puncture resistant container. You'll save on cleaning all of that lube up, too. Unwrap condom packages carefully; preferably NOT with your teeth. See #1. Grab a flavored condom when you want oral sex & penetrative sex. The flavored condoms have some tasty lube on them that helps keep your mouth moist, and work just fine for penetration, too. Open your LUBE, and get it ready for masterful application! (Watch your partner's eyes dilate by slapping some on your own genitals! HOT!) (Not using lube has been shown to INCREASE the risk of the condom slipping -- because it gets "tugged" off.) Male Condoms are HATS with a BRIM. SEX GOD(DESS) TIP: Plop a DIME-SIZED spot of lube inside the CONDOM (hat). This bit of lube helps the condom slip and slide over his penis head, and men report LOVING this silky sensation! Gently squish the (lube filled) tip as you press the condom against the head of his penis. WARNING: If you put the condom on INSIDE OUT-- THROW IT AWAY! Don't flip it over--you can get infections/pregnant just from that little flip. (Oops.) Gently un-roll the brim of the condom down onto the shaft of his penis. The middle part of the shaft is where male condoms most frequently break. (Drat!) So, save your condom and slap a handful of lube on the shaft, and wriggle your hands around a bit to spread the lube around. He'll think he died and went to heaven, and you both will have a condom that stays put while you're trying to get there. If while you're being sexual, using a condom is uncomfortable, STOP IMMEDIATELY. Discomfort with condom usage is a WARNING of (impending) condom breakage! Penetration with a condom should feel comfortable to BOTH of you. Check your lube levels, and consider a different size/style or type of condom. Try the "nubs inside" condoms for men who want to feel more sensation on the shaft of their penis. (Our customer fave: Beyond 7 Ribs & Dots.) Or, try the Pleasure Plus Condoms, which have an extra latex pouch for the bottom side of his penis. This extra latex slips around, providing much more sensation where he can feel it. If you're intimate with a regular partner, TRADE back and forth who wears the condom. For example, some people use MALE condoms sometimes, and FEMALE condoms other times. The sensations are different for each type, and the responsibility is fun to pass around. With FEMALE condoms: play "BullsEye" to make sure your partner focuses on getting his penis on the inside of the outer ring. Everyone loves a good aim. (If you have more questions about FEMALE condoms, the package insert has some great info and pictures. ) Since the polyurethane material of FEMALE and AVANTI condoms is noisy (like kicking leaves on a fall day), crank up the music and moan. You might just find a beat that suits you. Have extra lube handy. Saliva will work in a pinch, but it dries out pretty quickly. Sample lube packets can be tucked under the pillows, or scattered around your potential trysting places. For latex condoms, oil of any type, including oils found in moisturizing soaps, break down condoms. So, for latex, NO oils, please. Water-based lubes were designed for pleasure AND they'll keep your condoms all in one piece. References: 1. J AM Coll Health (2005) Nov-Dec;54(3) 143; 2. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med (2005) jun; 159(6)536; 3. Sex Transm Dis (2005) jan;32(1):35; 4. Contraception (2004) Nov;70(5);407; 5. Int J STD AIDS (2004) Jul;15(7):467; 6. Contraception (2003) Nov;68(5);319; 7. Contraception (2003) Jul;68(1);39; 8. J Am Med Womens Assoc (2003) spring; 58(2);95.