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Description:
This book is replacing Becoming Orgasmic on our shelves. We prefer The Elusive Orgasm because it is more accessible, more inclusive, more fun to read, and more comprehensive in scope. We approve of the book’s accurate anatomy section, which includes the entire clitoris and related structures. We like that this book is inclusive of women with no partner, a male partner, or a female partner, and at any life stage or age, as well as physical ability. We also like the inclusion of a chapter on how arousal works both physically and emotionally, what orgasm actually is, and how it varies from person to person.
The Elusive Orgasm offers help for a variety of types of orgasm difficulty. There are suggestions for women who have occasional difficulty with orgasms due to stress, as well as those who rarely or never have an orgasm. Its also a great resource for women who used to be able to orgasm easily but now find it impossible or difficult to do so, and women who have difficulty reaching orgasm in some situations but not others.
The book offers step by step suggestions for change in an extremely individualized format. The author has identified 25 different factors pertaining to why women can’t orgasm easily (ranging from being too busy to pain with sex), and discusses each in detail. A self-administered rating system helps the reader determine how much each factor influences her individual situation, and therefore where to focus her energy. Then each factor is addressed with self-evaluation checklists, exercises, and step by step suggestions to try. These steps are easy to understand and are presented in a very positive way, always encouraging relaxation and decreasing stressful thoughts and self-pressure.
The book also presents two separate step by step programs: one for becoming comfortable being highly aroused and experiencing orgasm on your own, and another for feeling comfortable being highly aroused and experiencing orgasm with a partner.
The Elusive Orgasm starts right off stating that being orgasmic does not equal being happy: plenty of women who don’t have orgasms are happy with their sex lives, and many who do have orgasms are not. Orgasm is just one of many ways to experience sexual pleasure. The first two chapters aim to help the reader determine if the book can be helpful to her; is her inability to orgasm a problem for her, her partner, both, or neither? Is she interested enough to learn more about orgasm, and does she want to work on it, for herself? The tone of the book is normalizing, reassuring, and non-judgmental, helping a woman identify how she feels and act accordingly. We highly recommend this book for any woman who is not satisfied with her orgasmic capacity, as well as for the therapists who help those women. Author: Vivienne Cass, PhD. 310 pages. 2007.
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