This book is written primarily for women in heterosexual marriages, and addresses the specific issues involved when a husband either wants less sex than the wife, or he wants none at all. The focus of the book is on how a woman/couple can better understand the situation, identify possible causes of the problem, communicate more effectively, and ultimately revive the relationship.
The author is very knowledgeable and experienced. She has done a research study that she discusses in the first chapter, letting the reader know about other couple’s experiences. This helps debunk myths and lets the reader know she is not alone. The advice about communication is balanced, offering the perspective of working on issues each partner brings to the situation, rather than from the point of view of “good guy-bad guy”.
Working on a major relationship issue like this one is a long term project, and you won’t find a quick fix in this book. You will find excellent advice and guidance for how to proceed. The author’s advice about how to work through a long-term, thorny issue in a relationship is useful beyond the application to the subject of the book, and offers the reader skills that are useful for any issue a couple faces.
The author has a strong, self-proclaimed bias toward saving the marriage, so you won’t find support for an eventual decision to break up or divorce in this book. This makes the book unusual because you’ll find support for creating and accepting a relationship that works for you and your situation, rather than reinforcing societal myths about how a marriage “should” be. However, we wish the author did acknowledge the validity of a choice to end a relationship should that eventually be the choice a couple feels is best for them.
This is a good choice for any couple facing this issue. The focus is on helping the couple maintain their marriage, and it offers good tools to help with that.
226 pages. Author: Michele Weiner Davis. 2008.
