In this affirming guide on sex and parenting, authors Cathy Winks and Anne Semans take an honest look at how motherhood affects your sex life, addressing the common cultural stereotype that once you’re a mom, your sexuality goes on hiatus. Mindful of the great diversity of family units and individuals, the book is written for all genders (i.e. does not use gender specific pronouns) and does not assume the reader is partnered.
The book combines the insight from social anthropologists and the medical community with the real-life experiences of mothers whose perspectives the authors elicited by survey, for which they received over 700 responses. In addition to the thoughtful feedback from biological moms, this book features a nice inclusion of the perspectives of non-biological and adoptive moms as well.
The first portion of the book encourages you to take a deliberate look inward and reflect on your own sexuality. You’ll learn about the importance of self-pleasuring, expectations and realities related to desire, as well as practical energy and money saving strategies to make time for pleasure and self-care.
Throughout the book you’ll find "Hot Tips" boxes that summarize the main ideas suggested in the chapter. Topics range from information on anatomy, safer sex, toys, cultivating positive body image, talking with your doctor about sex, and more great tips from other moms.
The concluding chapters turn the focus toward communicating about sex with partners and negotiating desire discrepancies, as well as the extreme importance of privacy. The authors offer easy strategies to implement (a lock on the bedroom door, for example) and great ideas for breaching sensitive topics. Sexy Mamas also includes an excellent chapter on the unique challenges that single mothers face, and abundant resources for further reading. You'll also find excellent information on discussing sexuality with children.
This book is a good choice for mothers negotiating an evolving sexual self-image who are interested in maintaining fulfilling sex lives and/or rekindling desire. This book is also a good choice for mothers with kids of any age looking for advice, as the content isn’t specific to any developmental stage of children.
If you’re looking for a book on sex and parenting with a more conservative tone and an emphasis on addressing sexual difficulty with a partner, Great Sex for Moms may be a good choice for you.