Written by Wendy-O-Matik, a freelance author, poet, and spokenword performer, this heartwarming and thought-provoking book offers inspiration for creating responsible open relationships. Unlike Opening Up or The Ethical Slut, this book does not detail different ways to form open relationships or explain the pros and cons of non-monogamy. Instead, it is drawn from the author’s personal experience from 13 years of  open relationships. Wendy-O-Matik is a sincere, open-minded guide through this non-traditional relationship territory. She is both idealistic and grounded in reality, offering insight into love, friendship, intimacy, and the many possibilities life offers. She dares readers “to count the ways you can single-handedly make love to the planet or yourself or your best friend or your new lover” and to ask themselves, “What would an ideal relationship be like for me?”

She discusses topics including: why to pursue an alternative relationship, how to manage jealously and resolve conflicts, guidelines and misconceptions, raising kids, thoughts on the meaning of intimacy, and how open relationships fit into a broader picture of creating a life according to your own beliefs and desires. This book not only provides insight but also raises a lot of questions to get you thinking about what you want your relationships and life to be like, and the social and political implications of open relationships.

This is a great book for anyone who wants to learn more about why people choose open relationships and how they do it, whether or not you want to pursue one yourself. Those already in open relationships may enjoy reading about someone else’s experiences. Not as thorough as The Ethical Slut or Opening Up, so if you want to learn the nuts and bolts of making open relationships work, this might not be the best choice. But because it is quite poetic and beautifully written, it’s a great choice for anyone who wants an enjoyable read with lots of food for thought.

Length: 93 pages
Author: Wendy-O-Matik
Published in: 2002
Published by: Defiant Times Press